I'll Never Post about that!!!

Yea, thats what I said.... and like I said about God teaching me lessons... today's lesson is to Never say Never...

I don't know what happened in the news today, (I try not to follow it, it makes me sad) But from the posts I see on facebook, something has happened on the Gay marriage front.

The post  I saw didn't say what happened so looked at the comments to see what was decided that had people in an uproar. My first thought was No way! No way I would ever voice my opinion on that.... Well... heck...
There was that little voice in my head saying Oh yes you will... and me saying .. oh no I wont...
That little convo inside my head lasted for several seconds until I finally decided..  Ok.. you win..

I pray all the time for things to write on this blog. When I first decided to start writing, I wanted to make absolutely sure that everything I wrote was from a Christian perspective. I didn't want to be one of those whiney people that have people questioning "why did she tell me that" I actually have a hope of helping people or inspiring people with my ramblings. Not that I have anything worthy to say, but God can put words into my mouth or in this case fingers. So The fact that I feel like God is telling me to write on this... is the ONLY reason why I write it.  I feel as though I need to write a disclaimer  on the blog.

CAUTION: DO NOT JUDGE ME FOR MY OPINION, I HAVE MINE, YOU HAVE YOURS.

CAUTION #2: PLEASE DO NOT DECIDE TO STOP TALKING TO ME BECAUSE OF MY BELIEFS. IF YOU BELIEVE DIFFERENTLY THAN I DO.. CHANCES ARE I ALREADY KNOW THAT YOU BELIEVE DIFFERENTLY THAN I DO ... AND GUESS WHAT! I DON'T CARE!! I'M STILL YOUR FRIEND AND I DONT JUDGE YOU FOR IT.. SO PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME

( did I mention I really am not looking forward to writing this? I really hate talking about non-politically correct topics)

*Sigh* Here we go... Here's my opinion.. for what it's worth ( probably not much, but thats ok with me)

First, I guess the only place I can start.. I do not believe that you are born Gay. I believe it is a choice. 

I think everyone in their life.. has at one point looked at a a guy and a girl and thought man they are "hott" or "Cute"  whatever your choice word is. I think it is in all of us. We look at someone of the same sex and think that they are what we want us to look like. Also, I think we can also get "turned on" (man this is awkward) by people of the same sex, but I don't think it is actually aimed at the man or woman themselves.. it's at the Sex... in general. Sex turns people on... 

Second reason why I think it is a choice. I think this world is cruel. I think the gay and lesbian community is the only place that some people feel accepted. There was a guy I went to high school with that had a crush on me for a really long time. He also had a crush on several girls after me. Unfortunately I wasn't interested in him in that way.  But the kids in school were horrible to him. Mean mean mean.. they called him "gay" "fag" (i even hate typing that word) everything unimaginable that you could think of. I think one of the only reasons he really liked me was because I was nice to him. Well anyway.. I think that If you have enough people telling you that.. then eventually you will believe it.  I think some people, not all, finally just give in and think.. well.. maybe I am gay... If it were the only place I felt comfortable and accepted, I can't say that I wouldn't choose that too.  It's horrible that the homosexual community is the only accepting group of people. My kids and my class will get ripped up one side and down the other if they EVER call someone Gay. It is not to be used as an insult. 

But Jennifer.. My brother-in-laws uncles son runs around the house in his mothers dresses with make-up on.. i just know he was born  Gay...  Well.. I think that girls can be tom-boyish and boys can be girl-ish. I mean you don't look at a little girl that likes to hunt and play sports and automatically assume they are gay. Why would you do that to boys?? I hate that! This society doesn't let boys be feminine. So what if your son plays with dolls and your daughter plays with GI Joe ... It doesn't mean they are gay! It's healthy for boys and girls to do some of the same things. I think a lot of gender confusion comes from dads saying "My sons not a sissy" big deal if he has a cabbage patch doll.. he'll be a great dad later on... ugh! (sorry I hate that ) 

Bottom line, I think it is a choice. 

Now.. Do I think being gay is a sin? Yes. 

Why.. because God tells us it is. He has destroyed entire cities for this. I choose to live my life by God's word.. and God's word tells us that it is a sin. As much as I love my Gay and Lesbian Friends.. It is what it is. I can't just choose to believe part of the Bible and not the other. Do I think Gay and lesbian people can't be Christians, No way! Of course they can be Christians. God loves Gay people just as much as he loves heterosexual people. He died on the Cross for all Sin.. regardless of what it is. 

Sin is Sin. 

People Choose to be Gay, Just like I choose to lie, or just like I choose to sin in any other way.  Now obviously lying and being gay are nothing alike.. they are on two different levels.. but still sin is sin and God hates Sin. He DOES NOT hate the person that sins.. just the sin itself.

Bottom line, We are all God's Children. He loves us. What's the kids song say?.. red and yellow black and white.. we are precious in his sight... just tack on gay, lesbian, metro, bisexual.. whatever.. He loves us all. And as long as you are saved You will go to heaven and you will rest with our Savior. What does John 3:16 say?  

 ¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

 It says the World.. not God so loved the heterosexual.. the world.. and everyone in it.. As long as you accept him as your Savior you will have eternal life in heaven. I don't believe there is any sin that will cause you to lose that. Well.. with the exception of one. 

 Mattthew 12:31-32 says:

³¹ And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. ³² Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.

That doesn't say every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but homosexuality will not be forgiven ....

Soooooo... my whole point in this rant.. that I didn't want to write in the first place is... we need to be more TOLERANT!!!! Love one another!!

Yes.. I can disagree with their lifestyle... but I can still be their friend, and I can still love them unconditionally just as God loves me unconditionally. I can't cast them down for their sin until I get sin out of my life.. 

Now Gay Marriage... I'm NOT going to touch on that one. I do have my opinion... but I'm going to keep it to myself. Hopefully I won't have anyone hate me for what I've written, but just remember.

LOVE is the answer. Love everyone as God loves us. 

As my brother says " Get the log out of your eye, before you try to pull the splinter out of someone elses"

P.S. Please don't be mean to me

*end of Rant *

tattoo's, Dip, and a different look on life

It seems like God is taking all of the things around me and using them as a teaching moment. It really kind of makes me laugh because that's what I do for my kid's at school. I'm always trying to make something a moment they can learn from.

 My best example of this was a couple of months ago. I taught my elementary kids a song about making pop-corn.... pop pop pop pop popcorn.... ooooooollllllld fashioned pop corn. It really was a fun song and the kids seemed to like it. Well.. In the book where that song was there was a picture of a little girl and her dad making popcorn on a stove. So of course, I had a discussion about why her dad was there. We even asked our pretend mom or dad if it was ok to use the stove when we made our pretend pop-corn. It was great. Well.. fast forward a couple weeks... I was putting dinner in the oven and i burned the fire out of my arm. It made a HUGE red burn across  my arm. ( I still have the scar today)

Well... the day after I burned my arm, I'm sitting in class with my first grade and one of the little girls gasps and yells "What happened to your arm!!" and without missing a beat I said "Well, I was trying to put something in the oven without my parent's and sure enough I got burned" the kids all gasped.. one even said "You have parents?!?!?!" It was pretty funny, but they learned a lesson. They know that if they don't have their parents with them around a stove they can get burned. It's not a very in depth lesson but still.. It might keep some of them from getting burned. :)

Anyway.. on to the lessons I'm learning.

Since I'm a music teacher.. I listen to all types of music. Christian, Rock, pop, some rap, country.. pretty much everything. I do this for a reason. Mainly so I can talk to my kiddo's about the music they are listening to.  There have been several times I have been able to use a popular pop song to teach a lesson, or drive in a point. But that's not the kind of music I truly enjoy listening to.

Lately God has been pulling me closer and closer to Contemporary Christian Music. Not necessarily Praise and Worship Stuff.. ( Which i love also) but the more modern upbeat music. I honestly can't seem to get enough of it. I listen to the Christian station on the way to and from work, and if I'm listening to music on Pandora at home, It's on a Sanctus Real Station ( Great Band by the way)

I just can't seem to get enough.

Last week, I decided last minute ( well, God pretty much made it happen) that my best friend and I were going to go to WinterJam www.jamtour.com It's a christian concert with all different types of bands there. I have to say that it was totally awesome!!! We were on the floor, twelve rows back. It was amazing.

What's even more amazing is realizing that where we sat was exactly in God's plan. Little did I know when that concert started, it wasn't the bands that were going to leave me with a lesson learned or inspired to do more for the Glory of God, it was the people around me.

There was a young man, probably around my age, maybe a little older sitting directly in front of me. He was a very polite man, but looked nothing like the part of a person that would be at this concert. He pretty much looked like a bad"a" fella. He had his hat on backwards,baggy clothes, tattoos all over, and a dip in his mouth. Now I'm not proud of this at all, but at first glance, I judged him. I thought "I wonder what he's doing here" "He doesn't look like your normal Christian Music listener" I even thought, I bet his girlfriend made him come. But as the night went on, no one joined him. He was alone. And as the night progressed God spoke to me through him in the coolest way. This guy ( I don't know his name, but I wish I did) taught me so many things. Every time we would pray, he took his hat off, every time a new artist would come up he would be singing all of the songs, every time a speaker would talk of God and all of the things he had done for them, he would clap and rejoice for the people around him.

All of this left me speechless and feeling so ashamed of myself. How could I judge this man, I don't even know him. I wasn't judging him by thinking "Oh he's a bad person" that thought never even crossed my mind. I feel like I always give people a chance when it comes to that. But I was judging him by thinking "wow, he looks out of place"

Who am I to say he looks out of place? Is there a certain look for people who love God and praise him???  No!!  Is there a certain look for Christians?? No!There isn't. This guy taught me that. He taught me never ever to look at a person and think that they don't belong, or feel like I know what kind of person they are, or even what they like.

I guess my point is that we all tell ourselves "Oh, I don't judge people" But we do.  And for the most part, I don't judge people,  I do my BEST not to judge people. But I'm not perfect. Slowly and surely God is showing me EXACTLY how I judge people and helping me to realize it so I can change it. It's not a fun feeling at all. I just wanted to sit down and cry and apologize to that man for thinking that about him, but just as I was feeling that, one of the artists spoke about how forgiving God is and I felt like that was spoken just for me. God is forgiving, and even though I feel completely horrible for judging him, i can ask for forgiveness. I can use this as a learning point and never do it again. Never judge someone for how they look, or where the live, or what their lifestyle is.

I wish there was a way for that Guy to know what he taught me, but thats ok. I've been praying for him. And thanking God for him, for the lesson he taught me. For the lesson God taught me through him.

You know, as I look back part of me want's to say.. you know Jennifer.. it's not a big deal. It's not like you thought he was a bad person.. and it's not like you think that about everyone that looks that way.. you've got lots of friends with tattoo's and that dip, and that wear baggy clothes and you've never thought bad of them for it..... Stop being so hard on yourself... But I did judge him, and even if I haven't judged the other people around me for it, I judged him.. and that's wrong. And it's something I do not want to do again.

And this was just ONE of the people I learned lessons from that night!

There was a little girl about three rows up from me, she was probably thirteen or so, and every song that would come on she would just completely jam out. Her arms would be up in the air, she was praising God and she didn't care how she looked, who saw her, or anything. She was having a ball. I just remember looking at her thinking, I need to be like her. I mentioned at the start of this blog I'm way overly conscious of the people around me. I worry to much about what people think of me. Not this little girl. I want to be like that! I want to be praising God, Dancing doing whatever I want and looking as crazy as I want and to not care!

There was a woman probably in her late thirties to my immediate right. She was in many ways like the young girl a few rows ahead of her. She was praising God without any hesitation.  At one point in the night she looked over at me and smiled. When she did I saw that she had some sort of problem with her Left eye. It was closed. I'm not sure if she lost that eye or if she was blind, or what had happened to her. But it didn't slow her down! I remember thinking, how many times do I think poor pitiful me. How many times do I feel down on myself because of my weight, or because of my hair not looking right. These are things I can change. But this woman can't change her eye.. and it doesn't bother her a bit! She doesn't let it get in the way of Praising God.

And lastly, there was a dad and a teenage son sitting behind me. They made my heart so happy. The son was there to see a really hard Christian group named Red ( they were pretty awesome by the way!, just a little harder rock than I'm used too)  The son was so excited to see this band, When I saw the dad as the band was playing he looked a little scared..lol but He was there for his son. And his son was so happy. He even thanked his dad for bringing him. At one point I looked back and the dad kissed his son on the forehead and the son didn't care!! How cool is that!! It's so nice to see fathers being fathers! My biological father has never truly been a father to me... thats its own post in itself.. lol But it really did my heart good to see those two that night.

So I went into that concert expecting to be moved by the music I heard and I came out with so much more. A new outlook on life even. To never assume someone doesn't have a personal relationship with the Lord.  No matter what they look like, where they live, or what they have been through, and to Always praise God without ceasing. No matter whats going on, no matter whose around. Praise him as if I'm alone in a room with just me and him.

I want to be one of those people in that concert. I want to be the kind of person that people look at and say Man I want to be like her.... Look at how she's serving the Lord.

Maybe in time, with God's help I will be : D

Here is a video of one of the Bands that I saw perform. I absolutely LOVE this song. I hope you will too :)

  


 

In the spirit of Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day everyone!!

I have always loved this holiday. While i do acknowledge the fact that it is just a reason to buy things. I love the spirit of it. A special day to dote on the one you love and make them feel extra special. I especially love going to walmart the day before or the day of and seeing all the men run around like crazy trying to find a gift for their lady. I find myself wanting to go up to them, pat them on the back and tell them they are being a good husband/boyfriend but I refrain. Lol, I don't know how that would be taken if I did. They would probably run away scared mumbling something about a crazy woman :)

I feel so incredibly  blessed this valentines day to have my special valentine.  This is our ninth valentines and probably one of the best. Not because i received a special gift but because of where our relationship is. Eric and i have been together for what seems like forever,lol almost nine years. (Wow! That makes me feel old)  

It has definitely  been a good nine years. I can honestly say I can't remember  what it was like without him. :)

So on this holiday specifically about love, I ponder where should we go from here as a couple. We've been together almost a decade and are perfectly content, but how can we make things better? How can our relationship improve? Well... I think that we should focus (as everyone should) on making our marriage more Godly. Focus on becoming the Godly husband and wife that we are expected to be for one another.

Ok.. so now here's the question.. What exactly is a "Godly" Marriage.
To find my answer, I googled "Godly marriage" ok... I binged it ... But still.. Isn't that sad? I should know what the answer to that is... Yes, I know to have a Godly marriage we must put him in front of ourselves and go to him with everything, but I want more than that. I want to know specifics. I want to be the wife that God has called me to be. A woman of Christ that is the spiritual partner my husband needs.

So how do I be a Godly wife in a Godly marriage? Well, the first thing I have to remember is God instructs us to love one another as he loves us.

So what exactly is God's love? How does he love us?

Well... For starters he loves us without fail. No matter what, no matter what we do, what we say, or how we act. He is always there with open arms. Ready and willing to forgive us and accept us as we are. He doesn't put us down, he doesn't compain to others about us. He blesses us and lifts us up. He ALWAYS has our best interest at heart.  Now, do I do that with the husband? Do I accept him as he is? Do I forgive him no matter what he does? Do I try to change him and tell him how to act?  Do I complain to others about him? Do I always think of him first? Do I make myself available to him at all times? Can he talk to me about anything? Am I submitting like God instructs me to?

This is all food for thought... Something to think about.

God desires us to be like him, in every way possible. So... my goal is to (like I said before) Be the wife he desires me to be. To Show God's love to my husband. To be all that Eric needs me to be.

So How am I going to reach this goal??.

By ordering this on Amazon... and Studying and seeking God's will in my life.

Do You have any ideas on what a Godly Marriage is?
How do you show God's Love to your spouse?

Ok God.... Cheerios or Apple Jacks???

So... I  am a firm believer that life is all about choices. I live it, I believe it, I even teach it. I'm constantly trying to explain to my students.... You make the choice... to have a good day or a bad day.... you make the choice to do the right thing or the wrong thing... You make the choice to get in trouble or to get a sticker. Sometimes they understand... sometimes the don't, lol It's an ongoing lesson.

Well, Like I said I try to apply that to my life in pretty much every situation. I have been on a mission to make myself a better person. Well... really I have been trying to make myself who I want my children to be. We are wanting to start a family sometime in the near future and I want to be prepared. I believe that you should never expect anything out of your children that you can't be yourself.  So... Thus starts my refining process.

I have been slowly deciding to change things one by one...

start watching my language ... check
start cleaning up after myself more..... check
start looking for the best in everyone..... check check...
But what about the hard stuff???

Idols.  ( dun dun dun )  Not like American Idol or a celebrity "Idol"  Idols as in... Something that you place infront of  or before God.

Now when I would hear something about having no other idols before God I would always think... well I don't put anyone over God... So I'm Golden.... How could someone put a celebrity over our savior.. thats dumb... but Idols aren't always people and thats something that has been a new revelation for me. An Idol can be the coffee in the morning that you rely on to get through the day. It can be the snicker bar that calls to you after your meal. It could be the really cute pair of shoes that has occupied your brain for weeks and weeks and you just can't stop thinking about.  So once I realized that Idols come in every shape and form I started to try to seek out just what my idols were. And Boy are there a bunch of them.

1. Energy Drinks. -- I really feel as though I have become addicted to them. Not only are they bad for your health.. they are bad bad bad all around. ( for me anyway) I went through a time last school year and the beginning of this year where I would have a Monster at least every other day. I Loved it. I could have one in the morning and be good to go all day. I would even have a hard time getting to sleep at night. But it started getting to where  I didn't just want them for work days. Need to clean the house? Get a Monster.. want to stay up late and watch a movie with the hubby? How about a monster? So on and so forth.. till I finally decided I had a problem... so what comes next? The CHOICE to stop drinking them and to start relying on God for my energy. Dragging this morning? Pray about it... Want to get a certain amount of things done today? Pray about it.. Pray about it , Pray about it, PRAY ABOUT IT!!! and badabing badaboom... It Works!!! God is our source for everything. He is our provider. We need energy? He will provide. We need rest so we can have the energy? He gives us rest. Problem solved. So even though I have made the choice to do without my beloved energy drink.. ( Three months clean.. woot woot!! haha!! ) I still have to live with the bad choices that I made.... Every time I pass that gas station in the morning I think... Man it would be nice to have that extra pick me up... but what do I do??
PRAY ABOUT IT :)

2. And the very hard to admit Idol number two (Which should probably have been number one because Its probably my biggest problem)..... My cell phone. Well more specifically my iphone.
Ahhh.. technology. I still can't quite decide if the invention of the t.v, computers so on and so forth has been good for our world or set us back .....  I could probably argue both ways.. so I just try not to think about it. I Love me my iphone. Instant internet access.... unlimited games.... An app for everything imaginable .. It is great! My phone and I were just about inseparable. Where ever I was, there was my phone in my pocket or sitting quite close to me. If I had a free time.. what was I doing? Playing a game or surfing facebook... ( ahh facebook.. thats a whole other thing to be conquered, just not today ) As sad and embarrassed as I am to admit it, I even started to question why anyone else would have any other phone other than my amazing Iphone... It is the best after all. Well.. Just like every other idol. God started tugging on my heart telling me.. Jennifer... you are spending way too much time on this little gadget... and I would think.. yea... your right... but I just don't think I can get rid of it. Everytime I would go to BSF my leader would talk to us about idols and would think.. yep.. there it is.. thats my phone... and every time I would leave I would say... well... it just doesn't make a lot of sense to get rid of it... until one day.... It finally stuck. I just imagine God flicking me in the head and saying "It's about time Woman!!" Good thing he is patient. Because I certainly tried dragging my feet.
Anyway, To make a long story a little less long. I finally took the plunge and sold my iphone and God sure has blessed me and helped me to realize that it was exactly what he wanted me to do. First we decided to sell it on ebay..and it literally sold in One minute. like literally! I was so shocked. Plus! We sold it for $250 Heck yea!! AND as if all that wasn't conformation enough I called good ole' Wally World to check the price for the new phone I was going to get and it was on sale for $30 bucks!!! So now I am iphoneless and not necessarily loving it.. but pleased that I am following God's will. I still have a smart phone but I  made the CHOICE not to add all the apps to it. I am slowly but surely learning to simplify my life one step at a time. Have I conquered all my idols? No.. but I'm trying to one by one get rid of them and slowly I will succeed!!

So Whats up with the title of this ridiculously long post?

Last week during discussion group at BSF ( Get used to it, you will hear me talking about this A LOT! I LOVE LOVE LOVE Bible Study Fellowship! Not know what it is?? PLEASE Ask! I would love to tell you about it!!) It was brought up that we felt kind of silly going to God about the little things... almost as if we felt it was waisting his time. But boy is that the wrong way of thinking. God desires our interaction. He WANTS us to come to him for everything.. Even something as trivial as deciding what type of cereal to buy. He enjoys the fact that we want to please him and have a personal relationship with him. I mean imagine the depth of that relationship. If you are going to him about cereal.. then of course your going to him with all of the important and Big stuff!

So the CHOICE that i am deciding to make today... to Go to God for EVERYTHING. Even the small stuff.

He is my provider and WILL provide everything.

My Challenge for you?? Start looking for your idols... It's a painful process but so totally worth the blessings it brings :)

Well.. Here it Goes...

So It's 11:45 on a Sunday night....  I should be in bed.. BUT... I'm starting a blog. I've always wanted to have a blog but could never bring myself to do it...

  1. Because I feel like I don't really have much that would be important to say.
  2. I don't want to broadcast my life to anyone and everyone out there on the interwebs.

 Yet.. Here I am :) And I'm pretty excited about it.

I have had self- esteem issues for quite a while now.. not like "Oh I'm ugly" type issues.. more like the  "I can't believe I said that" " What are they going to think of me" type issues.  One day, after talking with my good friends from BSF ( Bible Study Fellowship, a weekly bible study that I go to) I decided that being insecure was a choice and I am through choosing to be that way! I have had to really stand on my own two feet and Tell myself.. I am worth knowing dag nabbit! and I'm going to be my silly-ditsy-say-stupid-things-all-the-time Self and if people don't like it, then it's their loss!! ( whew.. it's even hard to type!!) As much as I want to tell myself that I am doing a Great job with this.. I'm not. I'm much better than I used to be.. but I still tend to second guess myself and worry what others will think.  Why am I telling you this?? Because This is one of my reasons for starting this blog.  Yes.. I may not think that I have anything important to say but maybe... I just might.  I have many friends that have blogs and when I read them I usually end up enjoying what they have to say. So.. to whoever reads this.. you may like or enjoy what I have to say.. and you may not. Sorry and please don't take this the wrong way. BUT I DON'T CARE!! :)

My other reason for starting this blog is so that I can share with my friends the awesome things (and sometimes the hard things) that God is doing in my life. I love reading about the wonderful things that he has done and the way he has shown himself to the people I know. My goal is to share at least one thing that I have learned from or about him or something he has done for me each time I post. I'm not sure how  often I will post something. But hopefully each time I post I will worry and stress  a little less each time about what it says, how I sound, or how someone will take what I am saying... and Soon I will be well on my way to being a more confident person!!!

So... First Blog Down.... However many more to go!!

Woooohoooo!!! :)